Saturday, July 17, 2010

With Loving Thoughts, Dear Boy

I've had an ache in my heart for the last several days. It's horrible. It's worse right now than it has been yet. This morning, I did something that was very difficult for me, even if it was in the best interest of the dog. Our 13 year old German Shepherd has had crippling arthritis for the last several months. Over the last couple of weeks, life has been seemingly more difficult for him, and I was having a very hard time watching him go down hill.

This morning I took our poor boy to see Dr. Mary. And I listened as Dr. Mary told Rob over the phone how much pain Ceasar was in. I watched as they put an IV into his beautiful paw. I held him in my lap, and talked to him telling how much his Daddy & loved him, what a good boy he was and promised to take good care of his Daddy. And I cried as he took his final breath. And our "oh so very wonderful golden boy was gone".

I know that he's off right now looking for his little brother Nicky, and probably a tennis ball.

This was sent to me in an email this morning, and it was way too touching and beautiful not to share:
"It came to me that every time I lost a dog they take a piece of my
heart with them. And every new dog who comes into my life gifts me
with a piece of their heart. If I live long enough, all the components
of my heart will be dog, and I will become as generous and loving as
they are." (Cheryl Zuccaro)

This post is in honor of the 13 years of faithful companionship that our boy Ceasar has given us. May you have peace, sweet boy!

Ceasar is my fiance, Rob's dog, and they've been faithful companions since Ceasar was a puppy. When Rob was first starting out in business, Ceasar was his co-pilot. (Of course, this was before my time.) Rob took him on furniture runs to the south, to the east, and basically everywhere that he went. They did everything together. Rob often tells stories of Ceasar chasing him on the quad, up hills, down hills, through rivers and streams for hours at a time. For about 8 years, it was Rob & Ceasar.

Then Nicky & I came along! Ceasar didn't know what to think- suddenly he and Rob were not alone in the house, and in time, he accepted both me and my little basset. For the first 2 years of Rob & I's relationship, Ceasar and Nicky would play with one another, but as time wore on and Ceasar aged, he just couldn't match the little bassets energy (and that's not saying much!)

Although Rob was always Ceasar's #1 love, in our first years together, Ceasar was very protective of me. There wasn't a mailman, Fed Ex, or UPS guy that got within 2 feet of me without that beautiful boy butting in the middle.

The first time my parents visited our home, Ceasar planted himself in between my Dad and I when they first came in the door. After a few visits- Ceasar got used to my parents, and I believe that my mom was one of Ceasar's dearest friends. He always seemed to enjoy her visits.

And my all time favorite Ceasar incident... imagine Thanksgiving Eve 2005. Snow and ice on the ground, and a house full of people. (Rob was still very much a bachelor at this point- he had a refrigerator- it just didn't have anything it.) We had purchased a ton of steaks to feed our hungry guests, and I had left them on the counter and gone off to converse with some of our guests. Much to my complete surprise, when I returned to the kitchen- the plate was empty, and the shepherd was licking his lips looking very proud of himself!

We're gonna miss you buddy!

26 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry. That poem is wonderful. I hope he's romping with Nicky.

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  2. I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure you will both find comfort in Lucy and the knowledge you did what was best for Ceasar no matter how hard it was for you. The poem is really wonderful. Take care.

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  3. Marianne,

    It always breaks my heart when I read a blog posting like this. I am truly sorry for your loss. Ceaser and Nicky are playing together again and watching over Sweet Lucy Lou as a team now.
    Thoughts and prayers are with you both.

    Blessings,
    Janelle and Maggie Mae

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  4. What a lovely poem. You have our condolences.

    Lu-Lu & Lucius ( and thier mom too)

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  5. So sorry for your loss... sending you lots of virtual hugs on this tough day.

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  6. Oh Marianne, what a terrible time to be in your place. Losing a dog after such a long companionship is so hard to do. There is a book, a story, that helped me through when my lab Emma died two years ago. It was passed onto me by my brother, who had it passed to him by a coworker. The idea is to share comfort with an owner. The book is called Dog Heaven by Cynthia Rylant.

    Here is the link.

    http://www.amazon.com/Dog-Heaven-Cynthia-Rylant/dp/0590417010/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1279385642&sr=1-1

    I am sorry for your loss.

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  7. I had no idea that you also had a Shepherd. I love that quote, too! It's a favorite of mine. There's no good way to lose a long time canine companion. I've been there several times in my life, and it's always been hard! We have one here who's almost fifteen years old, and I know our time together is limited. Our hearts are certainly with you today! Have you ever read Dog Heaven? It's a beautiful book about losing a dog.

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  8. I'm so sorry about your sweet Ceasar. ♥

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  9. Oh> We do't know what to say but they we are very sorry for your loss. you are in our thoughts. We agree that the Dog Heaven book is a good one.
    ~Maggie, Milly, and Shelby

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  10. Thank you all for your sweet words, and your sympathies. I will have to check out the Dog Heaven book. After having lost my basset in March- this is all too fresh for me. 2 dogs in 6 months feels horrible! I'm so glad I've got Lucy to keep me smiling!

    Lucy's Human

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  11. Sorry for your loss...I too had a German Shepard for 13 yrs from a lil girl til I was 17. She had the hip problems that they say are common in Shepards & got to the point she couldn't walk at all...We took her to the vet & they said we had to put her down I couldn't be there so I waited til they brought her home & buried her then I went to her gravesite...I read your posts about Lucy all the time & laugh like crazy & this one had tears in my eyes I feel for you but, he no longer will be suffering...He was a gorgeous shepard!

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  12. We are so sorry for the loss. We will light a candle for him tonight.

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  13. This is a beautiful tribute to a beautiful dog. This post made me cry for Caesar and the pain I know you're all feeling. I am so sorry for your loss.

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  14. I thought I was all cried out, nope. Caesar no longer has the pain and can now run and play with Nicky. One day, you will remember all the great things about him and feel blessed to have had him for a friend.

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  15. So sorry to hear of your loss and having to make the painful decision. I've been there with a dog (Alex) who had hip dysplia. It was heartbreaking to witness this once energenic dog slowly became crippled. I understand your pain. Ceasar was such a beautiful dog and now he's not suffering. Peace.

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  17. Words can not express how truly sorry I am for your loss of your sweet angel, I know that your precious Ceasar is no longer in pain and waiting for you at the Rainbow bridge. Last year my beloved 13 1/2 year old Akita Lab mix passed away, we had been always together since she was a puppy and I was 13 myself, she was my angel and best friend. I read many things after she passed away this one was a very interesting book and gave me some comfort, I hope can help some, "Animals in Spirit: Our faithful companions' transition to the afterlife" I send so much comfort and love!!! I am so truly sorry Marianne

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  18. I am so sorry, Rob and Marianne, for your loss. I had a boy that looked just like him. Loved the poem and also this story.

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  19. Oh no. What a tragic day you have had...you make me think of our boy Braise who passed on almost a year ago.
    Nothing helps.
    im so sorry.
    RIP Ceaser
    I hope baby Lucy is up for some snuggles xx

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  20. What a lovely tribute to a dog that had a good long life. I know it's never easy to lose our companions. But I know they are not far from us and we will see them again one day, and what a wonderful day that will be.

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  21. Oh.....reading that one really makes you think how little time we have and how strong the bond between canine and human can be.

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  22. So very sorry for your loss. Your post is a beautiful and loving tribute to a sweet companion. I know you'll miss him, but you did the right thing for him, and now he's no longer in pain.

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  23. Just got back in town yesterday and catching up. Soooo sorry to hear of your loss. How wonderful that Caesar was around for 13 years! Sometimes I wonder how I will go on without my canine friends. I cannot remember life without them! You are in our thoughts. Just know that he isn't in pain anymore.

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  24. I'm crying reading this! Thanks for being a follower...I'm a mom to 2 GSD...both boys and the light of our lives! Will you get another?

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  25. what a beautiful, sweet post... dogs are so much a part of the family everytime I lost one I felt like a family member or friend was gone... you and your fiance and little Lucy are in my thoughts!

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  26. Oh I'm soooo sorry! *HUGS* You did the right thing and he thanks you for this. I hope you and your family heals soon.

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