Pour Your Heart Out!

I just got off the phone with my fiance... We just had yet another conversation about Texas. As some of you might remember, we've been discussing a move to Texas; Houston to be exact. What I may or may not have said that is while this move is probably definitely the best thing for our future, the way it's going to go down is going to scare the crap out of me, probably cause a lot of anxiety, loneliness, and sleeplessness.

And so after hanging up the phone, I'm pacing the floor thinking about the fact that more than likely we are going to be 2000 miles apart for the better part of 6 months- could be longer, but hopefully not. Granted, there may be occasional weekend visits here and there- but I have a feeling it's going to lean more towards the very rare occasion rather than a regular kind of happening and I'm feeling like I need to either scream or pour my heart out when I stumble upon a Pour Your Heart Out Blog Hop.... Imagine that. I could not help but think "It must be meant to be." I needed to ramble, and here is someone just begging me to do it.

The conversation we just had involved the date for all of this to take place- after all of the conversations in the past couple of weeks, I should have been prepared, should have known what was coming... After all, Rob is taking a trip to Houston in two weeks with the intention of finding retail space and signing a lease. So why did my heart suddenly skip several beats when he said mid September- no later than the end of September. Holy you know what. That's like 4 to 6 weeks away. Okay, this is becoming reality, very quickly. I guess I wasn't expecting it so soon, even though I know there is a definite "rush" to all of these plans.

As if just the idea of the two of us being so far apart for 6 months is not enough on it's own- he's leaving me here to run the business. (Of course, in reality, that's probably the smartest part of the plan, right? I'm brilliant. I'm Superwoman. I have boundless energy.... Of course I do, right? Who better to let take charge than a woman?) So this entails 2 stores, 3 employees + myself.... a couple hundred customers, 18 manufacturers, trucks, deliveries.... Oh boy, I'm getting a headache already. Oh, and I forgot to mention 3 rental properties. No problem! It's taken care of- and I'm sure I'll do it all gracefully and in 3 inch heels, without ever showing signs of stress or even dismay... aha, sure. And it's probably not a big deal that before I leave this wonderful city, I'll need to sell at least one of the 4 houses, preferably two of them... Again, NO BIG DEAL!

Why does this not seem to be that big of a deal to him? Is he just "acting" super cool about the idea of being 2000 miles away from me and leaving me to run his business- or is he really just completely cool with the whole thing? I am freaking out over the idea of Lucy & I coming home to an empty house in the middle of nowhere for the next 6 months... and I just realized that he's going to be gone over Thanksgiving and Christmas. And that's our busy season, how the heck are we going to handle that? Oh my! What am I getting myself into? We have never been apart for more than 3 or 4 days in the 5 years that we've been together. And we're probably going to be apart on our 5 year anniversary.

Where are those aspirins?

Thank you so much to "Things I Can't Say" for dropping onto my computer at exactly the right time. Now do you think you can do something about this serious headache and the massive anxiety I'm feeling?