Friday, July 30, 2010

Pour Your Heart Out!

I just got off the phone with my fiance... We just had yet another conversation about Texas. As some of you might remember, we've been discussing a move to Texas; Houston to be exact. What I may or may not have said that is while this move is probably definitely the best thing for our future, the way it's going to go down is going to scare the crap out of me, probably cause a lot of anxiety, loneliness, and sleeplessness.

And so after hanging up the phone, I'm pacing the floor thinking about the fact that more than likely we are going to be 2000 miles apart for the better part of 6 months- could be longer, but hopefully not. Granted, there may be occasional weekend visits here and there- but I have a feeling it's going to lean more towards the very rare occasion rather than a regular kind of happening and I'm feeling like I need to either scream or pour my heart out when I stumble upon a Pour Your Heart Out Blog Hop.... Imagine that. I could not help but think "It must be meant to be." I needed to ramble, and here is someone just begging me to do it.

The conversation we just had involved the date for all of this to take place- after all of the conversations in the past couple of weeks, I should have been prepared, should have known what was coming... After all, Rob is taking a trip to Houston in two weeks with the intention of finding retail space and signing a lease. So why did my heart suddenly skip several beats when he said mid September- no later than the end of September. Holy you know what. That's like 4 to 6 weeks away. Okay, this is becoming reality, very quickly. I guess I wasn't expecting it so soon, even though I know there is a definite "rush" to all of these plans.

As if just the idea of the two of us being so far apart for 6 months is not enough on it's own- he's leaving me here to run the business. (Of course, in reality, that's probably the smartest part of the plan, right? I'm brilliant. I'm Superwoman. I have boundless energy.... Of course I do, right? Who better to let take charge than a woman?) So this entails 2 stores, 3 employees + myself.... a couple hundred customers, 18 manufacturers, trucks, deliveries.... Oh boy, I'm getting a headache already. Oh, and I forgot to mention 3 rental properties. No problem! It's taken care of- and I'm sure I'll do it all gracefully and in 3 inch heels, without ever showing signs of stress or even dismay... aha, sure. And it's probably not a big deal that before I leave this wonderful city, I'll need to sell at least one of the 4 houses, preferably two of them... Again, NO BIG DEAL!

Why does this not seem to be that big of a deal to him? Is he just "acting" super cool about the idea of being 2000 miles away from me and leaving me to run his business- or is he really just completely cool with the whole thing? I am freaking out over the idea of Lucy & I coming home to an empty house in the middle of nowhere for the next 6 months... and I just realized that he's going to be gone over Thanksgiving and Christmas. And that's our busy season, how the heck are we going to handle that? Oh my! What am I getting myself into? We have never been apart for more than 3 or 4 days in the 5 years that we've been together. And we're probably going to be apart on our 5 year anniversary.

Where are those aspirins?

Thank you so much to "Things I Can't Say" for dropping onto my computer at exactly the right time. Now do you think you can do something about this serious headache and the massive anxiety I'm feeling?


  1. Aww sweetie, of course you can do it!
    And the reasons why your man seems to be so calm and relaxed about it are quite possibly the following: 1) men's brains don't understand complications, to them everything's a straight "uncomplicated". 2) he has the utmost trust in you and knows the business is in good hands and everything will go according to plans.
    The only thing I can tell you is, try to stay positive and believe that the time apart won't be as long as it seems right now..things will sort out themselves and you two will be reunited before you know it - you just have to believe that! ;) Big hugs!

  2. Thank you Serena-

    I didn't realize until a couple of minutes ago how much all of this was freaking out. Deep down, I'm sure we'll handle it and even survive it... I guess it just all seems so daunting when looking at the big picture!

    Thank God I've got my little girl with me...


  3. I feel for you. I'm scared to death about my future too because for the life of me, I cannot find a job. And it's not like I haven't been trying!

    I understand the overwhelming feelings you're having. I do hope everything will work out the way you want it to.

  4. I'm pouring a glass of wine for you tonight, girl! You can SO do this - the time will go by so quickly (and Lucy will keep you company!) and you guys will be stronger and closer for having gone through this together! You've got the rest of your lives to live side by side. :)

  5. Oh, wow, that does sound really stressful. I've never been through something like this before. But I wish you the best of luck, how ever things unfold. I agree with the last poster - the time will probably go more quickly than you think, and then your bond with your fiance will be all the more stronger.

  6. Remember what your mom or grandma or some such wise person told you? God doesn't give you anything you can't handle. Hard to do? Yes Stressful? Yes Lonely? Yes, BUT it will go fast, and at the end of the time apart, you will know yourself and your fiance so much better. Good luck! I am going to follow to see how you do and be a cheerleader for you!

  7. Thank yo for coming by 504 Main! I so wanted to be follower 200...guess I will settle for 199!

    You can so do this...especially if you are wearing 3" heels! He wouldn't leave yo i charge if he didn't believe in you...and 6 months will fly by!

    504 Main

  8. oh my, I am sure it will all work out okay and it will keep you busy! I dont know if there is anything I can do to help, but If i can let me know. I am sure this will be an exciting time for you all! and Just think Lucy will have a new adventure in store! ; )

  9. Oh wow! I'm so blown away by all of the sweet and encouraging comments! I'm sure you'll all be hearing more about this adventure in the coming months, but in the meantime- it's great to know I've got a bunch of strong, awesome women pulling for me!

    Thanks guys!


  10. You are going to have a lot on your plate! Hope you can find a way that it will all go smoothly for you!

    Thanks for joining in!